The Czars, Drug

Explosions in the Sky: Your Hand in Mine

Coldplay: Up&Up

PS: Pamflets 2-6 are written in the tone of someone in defence, and younger than me- the writer.

OnanOn My Focus: Carrier, Where did You Run>>>>>

>>

I got support from Kunstløftet in 2014 to do a comic-project on trauma-reactions, and will work on this as a theme (amongst others) in some of my projects a little longer. Right now the shortlyrics here on this site cover (as far as I can see) the core of a life

in a post-traumatic aftermath,

which is a life too many live today.

Besides from this, my focus in

lyrics has always been relations.

 

I dont intend to offend anyone with

my lyrics. Perhaps I seem to go

backwards in time by what I write

in some of my texts, but those

who know me are aware of why

I create these lyrics(and works)

I do. Though some of my writings

are autobiographical, most I write comes out of what I observe around me. I have lost files/copies, and because of a claim last year I had to show I am capable of writing. I chose to start again here on my webpage.

 

I have divided the lyrics into : Bitterness x2/ On Word/ Pepsodent/ Attachment/ Rumours/ Blamegame / Gazing/ Strange Ideas/ Trauma- Be Kind/ Biting Lipx2/ Yearlong Mourning Caused by Anonymous & Well Intended Publishin/ Blooming Brain/Brain & Brain / + Somewhere On this Page is a Scam.

 

I used to have a blogish thing(ago), now: none. This is my only website, and my emailadress is here.. Stating this because I no longer have access to my Steve and/ Anne/a-account(a gmail account under a pseudonym). Lost it(them) over two years back. & Who knows? You tell me!!

& Do follow me on Instagram: @tonjehoydahlsorli.

 

Although my lyrics sometimes are being used, I dont often get to go to concerts (like other artists)(we come and eat and drink for free)(ref Eat for Free, Haley Bonar). On anything: email me, thats easy and polite though I might have said sth else in the past.

 

And- these days I work solo (totally!). Or independently as they say.

 

Nyperose, Nyperose, jeg vil være den du er
Bluebird. Bluebird. Bluebird.

Tonje Høydahl Sørli

tapestry, comics and random writings

Radiohead, Daydreaming, also backwards.

Susanne Sundfør: Delirious, Fade Away

 

.

Right Now! In favor! Songs I listen ( I have a passion for songlyrics, had it since Smashing Pumpkin`s Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness came) to:

And to set the tone: Michael Nau, Love Survive. AND I Don`t write songs, but I do write lyrics sometimes used in songs. Meanwhile another place he sets off some

new album..

Leonard Cohen, You Want it Darker & Leaving the Table

 

Father John Misty: Real Love Baby

Mas Ysa, Shame & Gun Lana Del Ray: Music to Watch Boys to

Lorde, Team Highasakite: My Name is Liar+++

The Slow Show, Dresden Daniel Kvammen! Luve!

Jimi Tenor, Moonfolk, & Tame Impala, Let it Happen

John Maus, All Aboard/Skjønte du spøken!??

CocoRosie: Child Bride London Grammar, Metal & Dust

Kent, Den sista sången

Tindersticks: Follow Me

Dot Hacker, Eye Opener

Iris Viljanen, Ska vi fira

Emilie Nicholas, Let You Out

Bright Eyes, Lua

Tonje (& Annae) Høydahl Sørli

tapestry, comics and random writings

Tonje Høydahl Sørli

tapestry, comics and random writings

Bjørk: Yoga

Mas Ysa: Face

Visit My Deliberate

Homepage Damn It!

 

feelings, feelings,

and then you write

friend fiend and brother

wound wound and bother

 

talk is not

its in your hand and your movement

looking at my veins again

is she activated

 

activating is

feelin

 

struggle and a,

my christmas high

was to save bird from cat

 

oh so little,

beeking

yellow chest and rapid heart

 

open windows

tell me

 

ideas ideas and then you write,

wigs and lipstick, vodka plastic

along a slope

 

do you remember, oh well christ,

I dont have alzheimer,

 

write me how to thrive

while your friends repeat your traumas.

 

The Quilt and the Beggar 1/Woman in Tower

of Song

 

 

From My Point of View/

 

 

 

 

All lyrics ©Tonje Høydahl Sørli

All lyrics. ©Tonje Høydahl Sørli

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/poems / texts:

The Healing Day, Bill Fay: It'll be O.K. On the healing day. No more goin' astray. On the healing day. Yea we'll find our way. On the healing day. To where the children play. On the healing day. When the tyrant is bound. And the tortured freed from his pain, and the lofty brought to the ground. And the lowly raised. Ain't so far away The healing day.

 

 

Her Life Seems Dull

 

 

-dont write about black buzzers!

ok?

 

-yepsipepsi

sorry

 

-handsome men then?

Il`l write about them.

 

 

Truth Hurts

 

 

sorrow lost and sorrow won

did you get

what I`ve been plundering(ja jeg har altså plyndret på dette)* on:

 

I have

 

a blooming brain.

 

 

(song ref Sun has Gone, Broken Twin)

Cruel Deeds 3

 

 

Er det ikke godt å ha noen å hate?

 

når ble det greit

"å ta noen"

og også ha tid til det?

 

Tender Plants to Grow This Year

 

Im the

bid me

but I

I am

of

 

they make use of my

 

but then I

 

I never show

I never show

you know, I never show

 

Im little little

brittle

lights and movecontrol

 

waking up in fright

keeping out of sight

 

see their gardens growing

blooming, taking over

 

greens and yellows

flowerbuds and watery leaves

--- .---

 

I hid in your mothers

behind bushes

she telling me to leave

 

oh please

I begged,

let me have a face

 

but Im little little

brittle

lights and movecontrol

 

I never show

I never show

you know, I never show

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Squirrel Nut Zippers! Pallin with Al

Farao, Sparks Edith Piaf said it better

 

 

 

 

Team Me, June

 Every Problem has a Limited Lifespan!
 Every Problem has a Limited Lifespan!

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She is Lost in Thought
She is Lost in Thought

Brush Your Teeth! & Floss

 

 

P p pepsodent!

P p p pepsodent!

 

di di de dea da

di di dea da

just listened to

some old tunes

 

trippin, like, not my head,

but with feet(tippittopptoe)

 

you got it wrong

kept me bottled

stuffed back then

 

could be a package of crackers

a boquet of flowers

that smother, wither

if you dont get a smell, a taste

of everyone of them

 

if this is (was)

difficult to grasp

 

Id say

Id say

Id say

(hallaljua)

 

your head is filed with cotton

 

so, Cottonhead

give me a smile

 

like, Pepsodent!

Pepsodent!

yeah Pepsodent!

 

Bluebird. Bluebird. Bluebird.

To a Specialist, On Musicality

 

yu were so so wrong(x2)

yu were so so wrong(x2)

yu were so so wrong(x2)

 

lyrics without musicality

 

well, perhaps you should try to sing them

staccato

staccato

staccato

 

I bet you`d get them working then.

 

Running Fox

1.Bloom! & Jolly Future!

 

 

Bloom & Jolly Future!

2. Pressure & Motherhood, this is theme in the piece Bloom! & Jolly Future!

 

Fathers Dismay

 

he:

dear meet my girl

she is soft and light

today today

 

eating down into plates

turning cups and glasses

 

silence burning

its to slice

 

silence burning

the food is good good

 

buts the fathers dismay

dear meet my girl

she is soft and light

today today

 

they say we can choose

the partner we want

 

but whats it gonna cost

when the father dismay*

 

 

 

* this is not my father, its a scene from a restaurant. Seen from the side, that be me, two tables away.

 

Apothek, Inheritance

Sia:Chandelier

 

Stevens, McAlister mfl, : Venus, Mercury Saturn

jeg skriver fortsatt, og skulle gjerne skrevet for noen som London Grammar igjen

Blatant Ego Game!
Fawn Response!

Bob Dylan, >>>>The Times They are A-Changing. GO pop-lyrics!!. Society__>

All That We´ve Become

 

 

Losers Can Win(ref Starwalker)/

 

 

 

 

They Say That in Life You Make Your Own Luck!
He Disappears in a Cloud of Black Ink! And its the awful truth.

Alice Boman/ Jaakko Eino Kalevi, Be Mine

 

Amason, Kelly & Yellow Moon

My Old

 

 

in the cafe

your voice it floats,

it used to

 

now I hear

you tellin lies about me

 

you forget to have a look

around the corner

 

where I am

where I am

 

tapping finger to

my favourite band

 

spoon in my coffee

empty hands

 

spoon in my coffee

empty hands

 

you are,

so far from truth

so far from truth you are.

 

The Return of Writer/

to Emilie

 

 

they say

with windows open

little is to fear,

 

but you know

the truth:

 

There are nothing more dangerous

than words,

 

in the bar their eyes gleiten

they want him to switch

just to have proof

 

if he muttered,

no but he wont:

 

I will never greet you as

the old friend you are

 

I know your gaze, posture

and hand

 

I remember a sentence, the shock

and smells,

 

in the bar their eyes gleiten

they want him to switch

just to have proof

 

artists learn skills noone else does

they play with genders and feelings

and become what others are

 

its not the same as

being a man.*

 

 

Kärläkens vånda

Arrival

 

I see his smile

in you

 

you

 

I see his smile

in you

 

you

 

I hear his laughter too

in you

 

you

 

and

his way,

 

his

 

how are the words he tell

does he whisper,

what does he do,

 

they owe me

in all their human ways?

 

Though even Bob Dylan

says winners are not like that,,

 

so we will enter the outside

and walk in mud,

and thats when

we realize:

 

We always lived our indoor

lives in surround.

Frazey Ford, September Fields & Done

Erlend Øye: Rainman

Itsa Girlie in Me
Portraits

Smashing Pumpkins, Lily(My One and Only)

Leonard, Rest in peace,

& The Future Album 1992

 

voice

so dark

from the 1st floor

my parents playing music

when I was twelve

 

I looked at them

and got somehow

a grip on what music does:

 

It fills your head

and life with joy.

 

Post It Girls!
See My True Shadow! Its for clothes, hoodie, whatever. You dont have a shadow? No? Come on! Everybody has one. Mine is not out walking at night. She is, if at all awake, writing.

When Talking, /Humour and the Spirit that Slipped of the Page or / When I Tried to Stop Being the Altruistic and Anonymous Writer but Failed and Started a Yearlong Mourning /

 

 

When Talking

I didn`t

 

All lyrics ©Tonje Høydahl Sørli

 

 

 

Whats the lyrics about?

17th June 2017

My Manic And I,

Laura Marling,

 

Å ha ei lyte/skade

 

(credits to some that showed me this song) Listening then as someone that once lost a ring, and too as with the writing tendencie to find my

own story in anything:

 

The morning is mocking

and the birds are singing to calm them down,

 

My Manic And I

 

The fairy tale end

noone beleived it,

 

keep your head up

cse some still have,

of brothers and cousins and

evenings with friends,

 

others have become the manic,

& stand in trials to tell

that there`s no no illness in me,

no I am harmed by relations

like in the past,

and cse him,

met you with a hardened look,

down by that river filled with ducks,

 

you girl went too far

well,

one day his eyes were blue,

the next brown,

scorn & silent face,

and the travel of words on you as

a living hell

is emotional abuse my friend

 

so you dont believe him,

no but what with the confusing feeling of someone

that is hot or cold,

 

so you become the manic,

their faces filled with anothers

instead of their own,

 

so who are you then,

someone like Lenü,

but her aspirations in your way,

 

so he says

this is enough,

we went to far,

this is why we are ill,

 

and of a sudden

In the middle of the concert

he`ll get the throw,

her words a gift, I know,

with a beautiful voice,

no, whats the point in writing

songs* if noone really

hear you.

 

*its a referance in a referance!

 

Fleet Foxes, White Winter Hymnal

Lars Vaular: Dessverre

Sundfør: Undercover(Edit)

Rockettothesky: The Dead, Dead

Water

Lily Thing

Cass Mccombs: Bum Bum Bum,

P J Harvey: The Ministry of Defence

Bowie: Girl Loves Me

John Grant: Grey Tickles, Black Pressure

Nick Drake: ´Cello Song

No Harm, Editors

Cold Mailman: Petra Pan & Something You Do.

That is what a text was about: The trigging everyday life in the aftermaths of traumatic experiences. Be kind.

 

 

 

Female Gaze

is

on

Hands

 

 

To turn

around and

there you stood

tan an all

 

 

Batman

 

gav ham et manus

dette kan vi ikke lage bok av

sa han

The Wronged

 

:she

:he

:shrink

 

the shrink said

there are two types of

violence:

 

One is physical,

the other is psychological,

and the psychological

often comes first,

 

its the silence in between,

the secret smiles and little laughters

 

its the neglect of feelings, the

public mocking and emotional shield

 

is the sudden turnings, gaslighting

and no regrets

 

is the withdraw, the no answer,

you as noone and the other without

dissociative tendencies

 

 

 

 

Girls Under Pressure on Respatex

Looking Back on The Year

 

submissive women

lie down low

till the fun is over

 

how how then

how then

 

practise

regulary training

yeah triceps

and those thighs

 

let live

the homelife

of todays women

 

we look into each others eyes

and admit

we`re damaged

though its not the truth

 

let live

the homelife

of todays women

 

we do yoga on the

kitchen floor

 

and regret

ever having been

on Tinder.

 

Fake Tapes & lamb B / /

 

 

I I I I messages

I I messages

 

music

Id do it again

Id do it again

 

I I I I messages

I I messages

 

you me

me am you

its you in me’

and you me

in

 

I I I I messages

I I messages

 

music

Id do it again

Id do it again *

 

 

 

Dissociated Gaze, To Those that Freeze Because of Trauma

 

c`mon

c`mon

you a true

should not

stand in line to mock

 

frozen gazes,

dissociated states

frozen gazes,

and x5

 

oh ah I am a true believer

but in justice no not anymore

 

your hand without blood

and arm swings

from the carrying of you

body without any feeling

how then to defend

yourself

 

well, I will tell you:

The real trouble is,

you cant,

 

c`mon

c`mon

 

we all have faults,

but what of beliefs

 

later you ask,

why did you not

scream

 

but people in frozen states

and immobility

dont talk or fight

and later

that colors everything

 

 

 

 

 

Behaving, Shower..Spooky song..

Scorn

 

oh the inner anger

givin you

manuscripts the pile

one a life

all of

shameful moments

returning

one by one

are those

hating yourself

so you turn covert

I think you know

swallowing my pride

then dancing with you

I wanted my head

on your shoulder

it the slow dance

fitting there

it does

it does

my head on your shoulder

a pit for me

my head and your nose

know you now how I smell

pointing this direction

was a stitched road

my head on you shoulder

but now

my chin falls down your sleeve

too old

I am am

too old

sad then I have been

letting go of

the fuel it is to scorn

 

 

Daniel Kvammen, On Truth & Friendhip in your youth, LINK

 

Apparently I´ve lost my discog! Has anyone seen it?....................oh and carry me home, please.

 

And a movie: Everyone working with social welfare/NAV should go and see I, Daniel Blake

 

They Knew About the Brain

 

Batman

 

gav ham et manus

dette kan vi ikke lage bok av

sa han

 

Closure

Friends, I have left the past, and I am on scratch. Please respect that and email me if contact is what you want.

Another movietip: Småfugler/Prestir &

Vaiana

Stop bullying: Kent/Friends Hålla Käften

Sailing in Stripes*

 

uniform at sea

it a salty eye and candyme

 

sayin you are my only friends,

made me feel sorry for all of us,

and then as always someone faked a traged death

me crying then to pier

and lay lifless as always too

in printed summerdress

 

and then you lifted your glass

 

evil and unmature

or was it me imagining your

cruelty

 

salty eye, queen and Anna(e)

salty eye, queen and Anna(e)

king and all the rest

 

cowardice was to never tell the truth

 

wood, wood,

I see your mother

 

And now I am scaring you.

 

 

* This on: Roleplay(in a gang of friends) was a thing in the 2000nd. We were kings, queens & court.

 

Brittle Little

Usage &

 

Choir:

We never say

come lets celebrate,

your text in my video & we won,

or as the,

its the background to which we fall,

but the party left us high

and the invitation out of our hand,

to soon,

though everyone know

you could need a little glam,

closed the door

when you tried to enter

said, no, this is the

party within the party,

its not for you,

 

and then lets get

married again

again

lets get married again

again

 

He: You see m back

in your floor

the meeting with lawyers,

I was there,

sitting with my face away there too

while my comrads

glared at you

 

sad that you ended

in a court alone

 

sad sad too

sad sad yo

 

yo

The Hit & All Offended

 

a slap at

his cheek

 

it was one & once

 

after

he`d said

he looked forward too

her getting old enough

 

a toddlers first steps

towards

 

womanhood

 

Bloom & Jolly Future in Holburne Museum, Bath

Murakami, Sunday Thrown Out Hand

 

in a show of

past and future

can you tell my haired* friend

on the pier

to never look worried at

me again

 

smiling no

but that was I

to the japanese in me

bluish hear and pink

umbrella,

 

no sunburn,

trips away,

 

I have been put since

-95

 

smiling no

but that was I

to the japanese in me

bluish hear and pink

umbrella,

 

well, oh hello

well, oh hello

 

smiling no

but that was I

to the japanese in me

 

 

Ferrante is alive(?)

 

perhaps she is a victim of modern marketing strategies! The day she if so receives the nobel prize

in literature will be interesting.

 

 

Please read my pushbutton-texts!

Misuse of Lyrics

 

I have written some lyrics that

are comments to a growing culture of low limits and moral when it comes to sex. In wrong hands the irony and sarcasm in these lyrics has vanished. Its a thin line sometimes in getting the message through, therefore, the writer should be involved. I am very sorry this has not been the case.

 

Perhaps had it helped to know that the writer was a woman. Voicing this, though Im also aware that there are many skilled artists and producers out there that can catch the tone and tune in a text easily.

 

Walking With Roses

I Want to Be an Artist too

 

isnt it strange

put the wrong man in an artists shoes

and he becomes a millionaire

 

but, we dont walk in gold

sometimes we dont even eat x2

 

no extensive, expensive clothing,

silk or the specially harvested cotton

 

since nmet

lifes been steep

 

crying in the department for

social welfare again

 

turning conversations

and having his father to my

every dinner, his voice so subtle,

well I can see the fox in everyone,

 

so I said, I am Tonje Høydahl Sørli, and you cant do this to me, you will give back my daughter what comes from me

 

so I said, I am Tonje Høydahl Sørli, and you cant do this to me, you will give back my daughter what comes from me

 

I must admit I was so afraid

of him I made him

a text with him as the baby,

 

but, we dont walk in gold

sometimes we dont even eat x2

 

artists are poor Chief,

try that,

and youll get the

feeling of true tragedy

 

and then you can write me.

 

But being Dory, I suppose that already has happened.*

 

 

* this lyric has a referance to 4 Disney/Pixar movies: Vaiana, Finding Dory, The Boss Baby, and possibly Frozen. + of course Fifty Shades of Grey

 

Bluebird
Bluebird
When Color Run

Someone to Watch over Me

 

jeg hører på jazz og katten

ett ullpledd og, da jeg var nitten

sa det hissig i meg,

dro Min Besværlige Venninne

til Italia og ble soloartist,

da jeg var nitten, sa det,

puttet jeg en mann i en

kvinnes sko bare fordi jeg

var redd for ham,

ligger det i nakken

for den bøyer jeg

men som nittenåring,

han hadde svarte øyne

og det kvikke blikket,

han satt på rommet mitt

og var imponert over en oppgave

jeg hadde skrevet om det tidligere

Jugoslavia, en tyrkitaliener i en gruppe

skadeskutte mennesker hadde landet

på en folkehøyskole i Lillehammer,

men hvorfor tok han

Den Besværlige Venninna

fra meg, og med seg, jeg husker ikke,

den selvbevisste og veslevoksne venninna mi, satt han på et tog, skramlet gjennom

Europa, mens han sølte kaffe på henne?

En flekk her, og en flekk der,

som blåe ringer under øyne,

nei, en gang stablet jeg ham

på beina, han var uten pust,

jeg vet ikke,

mennesker med skader,

 

vi ødelegger for hverandre,

mens vi vet altfor godt hva

verden trenger,

 

og hvis jeg møtte ham igjen

ville jeg ikke nevne Venninna

eller noe annet,

for jeg har glemt

og det er sikkert noen andre

glade for.

 

Retraumatisation in Bricks &

Building*

 

hi saw you in the other car

driving mountainhigh

only to forget the weekend

lost

been walking alone snow

a girl to :

was what he

bet a smile

 

buttonhole close to heart

he melted

watched her

 

secrets,

secrets

you come my way

never

wanted

one

 

love men who

talk n walkn truth n never lie

how

many

should

step

out

 

with lack in beliefs

 

did you call me , I asked,

and they smiled,

no that wasnt me,

 

leaving then

and not sad

 

no wont walk in

old misery again.

 

 

* Retraumatization is a conscious or unconscious reminder of past trauma that results in a re-experiencing of the initial trauma event. To consciously use reminders to provoke a victim of trauma is very harming.

I Am Another,

 

shuffled through the streets

a tired santa with

his white beard

came to my door

and said he was

another too

: I am a woman deep

inside, was that

the thing then,

: Just as you are

a man,

 

his eyes were scared,

so I thought, oh no

I know who sent you

to climb my stairs,

once I saw that in

m m m m m too,

 

and to say goodbye to

people that I like,

 

yes Id rather stand in

a crowd

and see you do well

on stage,

 

and now to tell you:

 

I was never a man,

but once, in a moment,

I took a mans best traits

just to survive.

 

Tracing Underdog

 

see it a wedding day

mouth fell out

took his part

didnt you

I guess that is

called

sympathizing with the aggressor*

so you left

take his ill behaviour

shuffle it aside

then grab the speech

and little faults,

your coughing, moaning

or the sigh,

and tell everyone

what those really meant

&

that would be

anything but love,

right?

 

* To sympathize with the aggressor= in relationships: simply put, to, out of fear, take the perspective of the one who scares you..

 

Me Man, its Me

Kulturuke/ & Elana

 

I leant and said Vold

(its a bargain for lost souls)

and you didnt smile

to reply

Jan Erik Vold?

No

sorry, guy,

 

I just tried to tell you:

I am writing

 

so I turned around and

asked

for help

 

artists

know

whats it to

lose

 

faces grow in

seriousness

with age

 

we struggle with

inner anger at having

made such

an awful choice*

 

and you,

after horses once,

in the wrong end

 

too many start

their careers with looking down

 

 

 

Met The Wall

 

In 2014 I wrote 5 scripts that I discovered (till now 3 of them) have ended in the wrong end. I withdrew on these projects particularly because I was afraid Id hurt someone in the process.

 

I have not been mentioned or invited to any events regarding these projects, perhaps fair enough, but I think it is truly sad.

 

Again: In the future, Id recommend people that get a script in their hand to have an ongoing dialogue with the writer.

 

They Knew About the Brain

They Knew About the Brain

Goodie

 

y y y ya

y

y y y ya

y ü

 

y y y a

y

ü

 

wearing glasses Harry Potter style

and web

for changing past

 

p p herhaps

use insta to do that

 

o o o or

or imagine

our begone hero

using wiki to

establish truths

 

why not,

afterall

 

we all know

she is gone

for good this time.

 

Whats the lyrics about? 11 april 2017

This is from me when listening.

 

Listening then, as a mother: To Wide Lovely Eyes from the Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds album Push the Sky Away-2013.

 

Wide Lovely Eyes

its Hide & Seek, and a song to a child, yes- I get the impression that the lyrics is written to a child, so:

 

The mother stands in the window as the father takes their child to child-care. Though everyone does, it feels strange to send the child away all day. As a family they are still working on that: The absence of child to get work done. And the child,

to cope with the absence of mom and dad. The child, with a small childs open eyes, and strides in her dress, waves to her mother, saying goodbye with her hands that still cant wave, instead they look like butterflies with fluttering wings, butterflies bending, and she is waving butterflies into the sky, and her mother answers the waving, or does the perspective change here, does she - the mother, suddenly, see herself as from a loved ones perspective: His eyes on her as her brain implodes and her hands goes up, up, a goodbye to a man, no,

and when she gets to her computer she wonders what world her child now caves into, perhaps a magical landscape that she herself

has left, yes through a tunnel of leaves down to the sea, and as grown-ups we can only try to imagine what our children do all day, and how they struggle to cope without their guides in life for many hours in row, yes ,

grown-ups close down the fun fair in our minds, and the the competitiondrive in men end up killing mermaids and creativity, and so we try to

keep the real threats of terror away by telling jokes.

In the experience of becoming a mum her brain is expanding, growing, the world is full of worry, and that while she and all organize surroundings to cope, and try to fill gatherings of friends with laughter,

 

and yes, me, sometimes I miss organizing shoes after shoesize and color and to look onto the world with curiosity.

 

Or as some girl said,

after she accidently had over-

heard a grownup conversation:

 

Næmanæmma died? She asked

with a serious look in her eyes. And I jumped at her having heard

my words, which were not

for her ears, and at her

already there to look for

answers I was afraid to

give. So, the world has

changed, I, we know.

 

And thats what

Wide Lovely Eyes

reminded me of.

 

Whats the lyrics about?

18th april 2017

This is from me when listening.

 

Death with Dignity, Sufjan Stevens, the Carrie & Lowell album, 2015,

 

a beautiful song and I love it, but is it a goodbye to a mother( as in growing up)? Or to a time?

 

So,

Death With Dignity

is

coming to your table

listening then as a girl

s

s

the song brings me back to where I grew up, with red hens and then circulates back again to the 30& some-year-old trying to find a way towards love and thatl be through saying goodbye to mum, and past friendships, and to finally see the subtle

manipulation by others perhaps,

and the scare-crows that strike

people with signalsearch-lights

yes with laser-red-eyes at night,

and now soon forty,

I remember that scary feeling inside, when the light hit me,

and yes that a guy, year after year, would try to fog me, yes make everything

as misty as it was when I was a child and was told I was imagining things.

 

well, I wasnt, and amethyst will make everyone remember, right?

& the closeness to others disappear when we strive,

and too many of those I knew have lived their life in a daily jackass-nightmare.

 

A sound would be a Perfect Ending here, like Ding! or Ploing! No splashin though. But Listen!

 

Kärlekens vånda & krigets

helvete

24th april 2017*

 

 

Nähe, Thankful Song

 

Thought On

the ballet Sleepless Beauty,

Nasjonalballetten,

Oslo 7ht May 2017

 

Persefone & the rest

it a mans hand on your chest and neck

and me walking into

the foajé

as I say abuse, abuse, abuse

to lay in love

is to have man above

till the mothers eyes

turn sore

blackn white suites

and them holding apartments

for little lovers

without regard to any other

like a child walking into

sleepless nights as her mum

working double shifts again

couldnt that make

a beauty, blackened eyes

till the mountain as a curtain

his finger pointing to th sky

and then they fold

her green dress and possible

evil plans for futuristic towns,

till the end that I loved:

Curtain, drapery, and the

lift of her

yes

he lifted her.

 

 

 

Vi Er Indianere- stå opp, vær en venn, ikke la urett ramme dem du elsker.

Pamflet 6:

Pamflet 4:

Pamflet 2:

Pamflet 5:

Luskende:

Pamflet 3:

Moren::

Shore

 

come with me

and lend some warmth in hand

this tsi is some other lovesong

but then the loss of time

wont you come running after me

waking up with green leaves

no

had the feeling

you stood back there and cried,

tears for you and me

 

FFF*

 

high heels heading out-

I was told to leave a lovers night,

heard him whisper

fff

fff

fff

as I walked,

 

oh no oh

my pinkerbell,

I that got so many things to tell,

 

had a folder

with that name,

started in a kitchen 2000,

a sudden comfort

from a man

gave me a secret crush,

so

I wrote poems

that later accidently ended in all ears

 

fff

gone, of course,

who I wrote back then

was of a brochy family,

but thats oh so long ago

(17)(or so)

 

(Later fff* became a off pist web thing, that I lost to someone else.)

 

(*fff is of course also a song by Bebe Rexha)

 

 

Giblets, Gibbons, Burglar,

My Last Song(2017)

(Thankyou & Sorry)

 

are awaiting

are awaiting

a break down

 

7 year old

7 year old

song

 

20 year million

20 year million

song

 

with no friends

in music buisness

its bisniss

 

they say

she lives in a one room apartment

but

we want the world to bow

 

in the hall of fame

we are nothing but burglars

but, whatever,

noone will know.

 

Radiohead,

 

Oslo Spektrum 6th June 2017

Alle Ble Flaue/ Aa Bb Fau

Aaa Bbbb Faaau

(efil ym fo flaH)

(half of my life I fooled my loved)

 

Thoughts on daydreaming and a concert,

writing then as some strange lady

amongst audience,

and how do we listen to noise,

its in the background,

and what I hear is on

men in a row

they love(hope that you) it when you choke,

 

happy to serve you, were you,

Thom Yorke and every true musician,

no glam or glitter,

but knowledge, warmth and a strange glare,

some affects perhaps,

moves o a girl I cannot see,

she moves her body and Thom

does too,

sweetfaced ones that

we all can love,

thats whats happen when

you think youre in place,

 

perhaps a future in a song,

 

creator has a kit to make

an identity to come forth

in a once loved,

sadly, Groundhogday makes

no way,

no, truth will mess you up,

the true tale of your life will mess you up,

 

him a grey jacket, that hair,

always a new door, endless corridors

and then the sudden smirk.

 

All this to say:

love, love to Radiohead.

 

Sweet Faced Ones

We All Can Love*

 

as I walked by

her eyes hit your cheek

 

side by side

in your window

you lowered your head

oh no no

this i thisi girl

is in love

thisi girl

this i thisi girl

is in love

 

lit a fire to the bone

when you

hired her a room

didint you

 

perhaps this too

going to be

a part of a three year long

smearcampaign?

 

Then I`ll come by

only to see her gaze

hit your face

again n again

nagain

 

nagain

 

yeah.

 

colors to my old

 

Reverse in Hand & Backwards Give

 

oh why

dont give me

whats mine,

50 000 from my

solitary fund

and she wouldve

had a room on her own

 

did he regret it

as he stopped

my reverse in hand

 

no dont do this to me

I I I that wrote songs

and verses from my

little town

 

we sat on the beach

and he fell in love

with any other than me

piles of books and him

perhaps as south

as any man

in north can be

 

so you lay me down

said

if you dont behave

 

your belt lit a light

till I scratched myself *

left marks

on my chest

didnt I

 

him road

was a backwards give

 

said

did you hurt yourself

or me

 

& this is me flogging

a love I know

 

 

* Self harm after trauma:

is a way to control your feelings. Its a normal reaction after abnormal experiences or

abuse, but scary to witness to those you love. If you know anyone that inflict self-harm, know its a language thats about outer harm turned inward. Help him/her to get calm, help him/her get out of harming relations, and in the length he/she will also need help to place shame where it belongs.

 

So This is Where We Have Met, 26 aug 2017

 

aaaa

so this is where we met

some harsh lit in yours

as I say

this is where we met

neck

aaaa

so this is where we met

a yard, a stair,

aaaa

truth is

a

I dont remember a thing

tongue

aaa

so this is where we met

giggle

mmm

aa

I dont remember

any

of

you

scar

mmm

then mock me

aaa

till this ends again

down

are there really none

that will not turn and whisper as I leave

in the corner of my eye

this what I see:

giggle, say

the guys made me

oh thats what you are

some gang of friends

that have not yet realized

how to greet

the one we love.

 

 

 

Ties/ laces*

bookmarker hold

a little secret friend

 

always found them

when am was in town:

shoelaces, thread,

mmmnn

mmmn

in red, brown,

never submarine though,

I was so young

and noone remembered

nn

the next day

followed as the next

he carried me

across the field

and put me to bed

some summergreen

or harvest no

 

to awake to nothing

made me a fiend

 

 

* in this world where everybody

everybody over, finding truths where theres none and living undercover, over.

 

*and its a poke to a book, not some strange habit, and this book again refers to Ferrante.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Goodbye Network & Establishment

 

oh no oh my email too

and my credible acredibilities

Lenü becomes Lila

& thats some fucking tent

waiting forever like

the rainforest with

some hairy hand around my neck

and now I am sorry too

 

Når musikken stilner(huffda)

mmnn n n he ditched me

mme i a a havent ditched anyone

ince -99

mm nn

m

Thoughts on Ferrantes book 1, 30 july 2017 in Norwegian:

:

Its A book Written to a Brother

 

Scarecrows & Widgets

 

Brother(as in Friend), where to put this anger.

I cant anything but see.

 

Brother, where to put this anger. I cant anything but see what scared me as a child still scares me. Men, their aggression and fights with or without fists. And then, as from the sidewalk, or in some window, from the side: what did you all become. The morning was mocking me, this pile of books off from some mans hand between thighs. In a daydream, he came by, said, do you remember, or did you close your eyes to them bullying us, and I: no lyar, dont do this to me, what else than to put him down and regress into writing instead. And to find words elsewhere.

 

Shore2

Hvor står norsk musikk om fem år hvis bransjen fortsatt får lov til å bruke tekster skrevet av kunstnere eller tekstforfattere som ikke blir kreditert?

Scroll down! (rull ut tekstene dine sa han,) vel:

Kjære Alle Sammen, ca 20 aug 2017,

"Jeg gir visst opp", en hjemmemusikal som passer for kjøkken :

 

(synges med en trist tone,, og anspent dansing)

 

Intro (synges ikke, bare skip og les den, hopp istedet til DING!) (som er markert i gult):

 

Siden jeg ble enslig, ja det har gått tre år,(kan gjentas for eksempel x3)

så har jeg skrevet 2000 sider, 300 sanger, 20 filmmanus (dette overdrives),

5 saklige tekster, og over 50 søknader(kast en bunke fra deg (med sinne))

og også en tekstcollage, to tegneserier, og enda

flere tekstutkast,

de ligger i min skuff (lat som om du drar ut en skuff og se motløs ut)

ingen ønsker sanger mer (nikk heftig, dette er sant)(vit at dette er en sannhet med modifikasjoner))

til nøds vil noen stille ut en vev (putt fingeren i halsen)

så nå tar jeg turen innom studiet (se glad ut)

og blir lærer jeg med (igjen, se glad ut)

noen sa jeg slet med omdømme (vift med et par solbriller)

jammen tror jeg han fikk rett (nikk kraftig)

en annen tok min kontakliste (pek på noen som så ser troskyldig ut)

sa jeg var dum,( se dum ut)

mailen forsvant (kast hånda ut til høyre)(vit at noen endret passordet))

fem manus forsvant på et tog i nordItalia (tenk det: utrolig men sant)

og en singasongwriter fikk resten,(lat som om du skyter deg selv i hodet)

en fyr tok fra meg all integritet (fall til gulvet)

 

så la dette være

min siste sang:

(reis deg opp og børst spon(sic) av klærne):

 

DING! (paradoksalt nok synges resten av en mann): Kvifor bryr det berre meg at alle kvinner eg møter er galne i hodet? (på nynorsk siden du tenkte på Ferrante)

jeg mener, satan altså, (sitt fremoverlent med hendene foldet i hverandre, rynkete øyenbryn)(før han(du) spretter opp og synger, mens han(du) danser):

 

Også en skje! (du må løfte en skje og

vifte med den)

 

Her er din skje,

ja her er en skje, jeg legger

den her på asjetten og det mens

jeg sender deg mitt intense blikk (se intens ut)

 

ja se her er en skje , en skje

til din espresso

du må ikke vifte affektert med den

(for jeg er hetero)

nei du må ikke løfte den og

sikte her mot min panne,(pek mot pannen din)

og du må også la

mine rumpeballer være, (bare vær klar over at du har en rumpe)

ikke dask meg med den, (rist på hodet, se bestemt ut)

ikke slå i luften,

det er en skje! (syng høyt med lang e)

en skje! (syng høyere med lang e)

en skje! (og høyere)

til din cortado, latte, macchiato (lang o)

 

jeg tenker ofte:

skjeer er anvendelige (se grunnende ut)

men se de kan skape evig pine!! (stepp litt)

 

åh, så det er her du sitter (pek mot et sted man kan sitte)(her bor det en kvinne)

og her pleier du å spise

din middagsmat (et bord)

 

og jammen tror jeg det er her

du tar et glass! (åpenbart en ettroms)

 

men en skje, du er en kvinne (se morsk ut)

du kunne drepe meg med den (se oppriktig redd ut)

ja en skje, en skje! x 3

 

Avsluttes: Se, jeg kan skrive! og skape evig smerte hos en mann (dette siste synges heldigvis av en kvinne),

det er mer enn å stønne (skytes inn fra en eller annen).

 

Bukk. (ikke vis fingeren)(det er alltid upassende)(tro meg)))

og teppet går for (gå inn på badet og lukk døren).

Bananasongs

Raining Giftful Giving

 

mmmnnn we cant meet

thugh so soft beard

 

put page

and looking through appendix

me a

a a a ame

 

that small pony suits me

and we`re friends, the dog and me,

so pony, dog

 

any cats too, and a guinea pig perhaps,

cause we`re thoughtful

and now I tell:

listen, pony, cat, dog,

everyone seem to think

they know my inside head

mmm

mm

mna a a a

 

his ex or some across

the table

looked at me with spite,

 

mmmm

mmm

aaaamnnnnaa

 

tree, tree,

no use in us

 

 

Committed By

Ordinary Canary, Salute

 

its a sad

he said

youll never recover

so they put forth some road

 

a bar, night, oh its commitment

to remember oneself

through new versions

thrown all over

 

helpfull, please see,

what if your own moments

walked right through me

 

might I render them,

and put em on instagram,

but I am not you,

 

I forget to mention

your inner feel,

proud or sad,

some gutfeel that say:

this is all so wrong.

 

it was me, leaning back

I was proud,

some V in my hand

oh back then

I was a writer to a band

 

Loss of Memory,

Propeller

 

entering some aula

walking a marble floor

to see someone raise

and try to greet her

but then I suppose

her glare is empty

she look at you and

all is nothing eh

 

it a empty pit

right in her soul, right

 

he sat down and

said, another lyric, yeah?

on you and your love,

 

but then s s sshe stuttered

no, oh, ah, my lyrics are on

past relating,

like, twenty years ago

 

it a empty pit

right in her soul

right

 

 

Viktige serier og filmer som

Skam og Hva vil folk si går verden rundt, Norske tekst-og manusforfattere fortjener dette.

 

Numbing and Immobility

they say this movie

is a cultureshock

 

well, we make too many

a girls life a hell

 

like shame and honour dont exist

in white middleclass

 

if you find yourself in offices or in schools

with silenced youngsters, help them

 

 

 

 

 

 

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