Music Magic. (Music Magic. (Music 

This lyrics 2 site When 14 000 files are missing, and also private notes, its just creepy to know. What to do? Well, I had to start a new life. My pamfleths became an answer to losing so much, and I wrote with selfirony and satire- aiming to say: i have my mind with me this time. My  pamfleth(self published in 2015) with thoughts on writing in a dissociated state and songs for music as a theme, was with a goal: to be my own bodyguard as I that year was sued by someone, who I had not let my guard down to. This is over though, and new beginnings are now.

<3 t

          CHILDHOOD

>hold my hand- thoughts on relational traumas.

     I carried him, he was heavy, but I did why would I not, he was so small and why hide when everything is ok?

and, listn, this other guy, he said in shame: its my fault, my fault, what they have done why wouldnt, shouldnt i be her and be here to write: no, you are wrong: they do because they think they can. And I Iove you in this life, as a sister, but also as her that was there sometimes with this to say: I hold my hand where you did- its for those who dont know how we get parted when broken, left out or let down.

 so throw your hand to, but dont do so if you are in this without true feelings .

Music Magic. (eufori)                                

Da jeg var fem bodde jeg på Sørlandet hadde loft og kjeller åker med høner ved der var det myrullenger trær med hasselnøtter og kratt med bjørnebær. Som syvåring er jeg ikke der lenger i sånne steder, vi tok bilen og kjørte Norge på langs til leirete strender og da nærmet vi oss visst Nord Trøndelag og nå har vi bodd i ett brunt hus der plankene er tvers over kappet mot en blek mur på en bakketopp en stund, der sola ikke klarer få seg opp det er mørketid der og bare der, ikke i svingen jeg ser i enden av dalen der det bor ett trillingpar tenk det nesten som meg men nå har jeg tenkt å si det jeg skulle si: at jeg sitter i radiokroken og lytter til tilbudet som finnes der i nrk av musikre sånn som dette her han har ett stort instrument og det er ikke sekkepipe denne gangen men jeg sier ingenting bare forsvinner i meg opp over gulvet som at jeg ikke er kropp og er i dette en venn med det som spilles jeg er i ett med universet og har ett hjerte som banker i iver og at det er så stort et helt fantastisk menneske er jeg i ensomhet med musikken som må ha vært et stykke av en musiker jeg ikke husker men jeg tror det var Garbarek eller Cat Stevens eller nei det var ett klassisk stykke uten solist bare veldig vakkert toner for deg og meg. THS

Girl in May

this was me,

my voice was there,

I loved music,

the lyrics in songs,

I listened to them,

and looked to my poems,

piled as now,

everywhere,

I was too, careful not to

show my inner strife,

this made me write like this:

I wrote this song, if

you want to, you can use it,

but only if you delete my writings

before you use it.

Signed then by me, as myself, but without my right name.

©Tonje Høydahl Sørli

Human People,

walking with people, march2021 

Kindness Adored

Girl girl

growing up

and today,

he suddenly,

grabbed my thigh,

some say its gravity,

and hormones,

that keep them,

men, marching,

at hands,

they like us humble,

and sedative,

but I am just human,

and want myself to be.*

-Tonje

*Its the perspective of women I know. I have shared the same perspective myself all time since I was a teenager, and still do: Men should leave girls to be safe and human in every aspect of life. THS

Hello, and love to those coping with aftermaths of trauma. To be heard and seen is difficult, dont give up. Care for yourself firstm and then let go.

If you know someone with a heavy past? Please dont let  them go, and have in mind: recovery isnt easy work.

And traumawork, in the beginning, this is sth. you need do with help from a therapist, and also perhaps try to get help in a sertified senter for those with traumas.. 

Vår Tids Utsatte:

Hunchback L,

Amnesiac long Gone

Uphill Life Giver

me a a a a dragging me a leg a a again

some mockumentary made fictionally

its on loving som freak

like him

its on loving som freak

like her

you a a a

forgetful friend

after hits and yelling

yeah hhhhe n hnad you when you was elleven

see them every whims

men in suits

its a marriage

but then hell nn

sayin, oh well,

to me, nothing but trouble,

no how would her love

give you anything but

uphill struggle

its on loving som freak

like him

its on loving som freak

like her

you a a a

forgetful friend

so then, we will be afraid to

ever love again

why with my hand,

why with kissing,

once brim and

no, I ll back again,

why loving a freak

like me

©Tonje Høydahl Sørli

(-diktet er om(legges til 28.01.2022) det å være enslig og tro man ikke kan elskes på grunn avrelasjonelle traumer.

.

2025

Healthy Earth  <<

vårt lille liv

og skulle vi ikke tørre si:

det er fredeligere hvis vi er venner

og våre barn og unge,

er de elsket av oss,

sier vi dem jo:

at vi ikke vil at de skal vokse

opp i frykt.

Tonje

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

On A Print for You:

startet med dette: et kurs i tekstiltrykk og tegning på tekstil ved KHIO, da jeg gikk der. Jeg fikk lyst til å lage klesmerker og tegnet slike merker som jeg tenkte kunne passe mennesker jeg kjente. Det var humor og varme i merkene, som var FOR å være jentete, guttete, venninnete, rosa, menstruerende, feministisk, furten, sinna, forelsket, og helt for kvinner i ditt liv, og glad i steder, dyr og litteratur. Selve tittelen på klesmerke-prosjektet spiller på slogans og merkvevarer slik de forsøkte selge produkter det første tiåret av 2000. Motivene hentet jeg fra fantasi, det jeg observerte, og fra apropriasjon fra illustrasjoner, tegneserier og faktabøker og reklame. Fortsatt lager jeg klesmerker som er FOR å være noe man liker å gjøre, eller er.

Listening to Tobias Jesso Jr. -True Love:

this song isnt for distance

or avoidance,

and makes me think,

as I am listening,

of an article and intervieuw,

in Aftenposten,

years ago, that I read,

about a young couple,

somewhere on this earth,

working hard to make it,

having little money,

him waiting for her to come home,

working late and working for each other,

anything for you.

And I thought and I think,

about this everything for someone,

where one need each other,

as a silent answer to this strange worlds loving.

08-09-2019

Title Rhapsody

Title Rhapsody, 03.03.2021:

v

Dikt-titler jeg liker, utvalgt blant noen av de jeg har skrevet siste to år:

-Dear Red

-Galantery

-Red Neck

-Fleksible in Work and Life

-When its Babylon in Amsterdam

-Sur Indre Stemme

-Money Makers & Fall Outs

-Bossy Him Kingdom

-Dear Thadnos

-Toebell

THe Silent Song

-Feeble/så dumt

-Marshmellow Lips

-Karmosinrød

-Ferr a Ante

-Band for Stayers

&

-Psykososialt stress i Skolemiljø

Nervous Song/2014

version II

In feelings his head explodes

(in flowers)

boom

as the summer goes

boom

hasnt seen it,

her dress against,

against his legs,

I know,

some women vibrates,

in evening glow,

as others grow silent and alone,

this boat to the island,

of nevermore,

she who liked him,

cant but see,

that they slowly agree:

he is more handsome,

more handsome than

than she is to he.-

go.

is he in distress, so 

I cant but care:

that he is choosing

this that awkwards me.

-THS

Where did You Run>>>>>i et traumatisert menneske må noen bevare respekten for verden uten å ha dette med i sin hukommelse: hvor brutalt livet kan være mot de sårbare i vårt univers. 

>> 

Also- Last time I freewilly gave someone a lyric is now actually surely 13 years ago. Though I could participate like that, I have seen my lost lyrics in use, also last year, and its creepy when this happens. First: its not legal. And two: I would really love to work on projects also with lyrics or texts in. THREE: I dont have money. SO I dont need or want to publish elsewhere without intention,, either do I or will I give or email away any writings to anyone without a meeting and a contract. I had someone I worked with, but that is also not anymore. Feelings in words was a process. To give private texts to you would be oversharing. Also sth happened: my hardware with over 14000 texts and also my sketches disappeared(to ex , quite a few drawings in ink, appropriations for my tapestries, also pitches for commercials and movies, and thoughts for several novels. Also portraits in blue paper of my brother and my exes. +++ And manuscripts on magical stuff for kids with traumas. Why? We who have traumas feel alone, and different. Perhaps we too could have a place or sth to be good at.) To lose all of this material I had has made me very sad. And those who credit me are to say very few. To have possibilities to say things I had in my mind was a savior for me right till this happened. My dream and wish was to be my own companion in this: my projects, back then. My diary gone lost is how this is. Its such a loss Earlier than this, 2013, my backup for my lyrics got lost from my earlier studio at Teglverkstgata 2, where I rented a spot for several years..

Loss_And I am not sure I should write this, but:I still miss my first novel, I started on this my text project when I was a teen. I wrote it for my friends, my twin and a younger brother. I wrote about boys getting brutes by the society and people, I wanted them, boys in this area I grew up in to see they could be different, and not be what everyone wanted them to. And friends, they should be in life kinder to each other. Thought like that was a motivation. And I carried my novel with me, for my workplace was everywhere, when I was a teenager, till it got out of my hands without me wanting it to. I had it in my lap, and right beside me in my familys car, writing whenever time and allowed. When I got a bit older I found a novel out that year with so much in similarity to what I had written in my manuscript that I actually threw this novel in the trash. I wa so devasted. Gone then, but the feeling of being without rights was overwhelming, and the feeling of having nothing has stayed with me, and is still sth I struggle with.

The comic Imprint, is on becoming distant when having triggers. A trigger is a reminder, almost as an imprint, in self and feelings, that makes you lose yourself for a second. I first learnt about this frozen way of staring of a psychologist that worked with refugees. Frozen gazes is a normal and healthy state when driving a bus or doing something you often do. As a post trauma reaction this distant glare is not dangerous or harmfull. Its just a brain pausing in the middle of everything. With a bit of conscious work your gazing out/dissociation is possible to work on. 

Flowergarden, For Love & Peace in Life On Earth

(the future aim: and for future life Earth: first draft written july 2022:) + I want to say this poemish song is written for children, from me as a teacher. Children, they living where there are turmoil, live afraid. In school I remember we used to draw people hand in hand, in different colours and etnicity, as a chain around the globe. This is a picture on how children would like life to be. And therefore I wrote this song Gardens.

My grandpa was actually one of those who was young under the 2nd war. And later,  in his occupation, he worked with the building of shelters ++ in Norway. This, his work, was secret. None in the family knew where these shelters were built, other than how times changed. So, sort of also is Gardens: in Memory of him.

GARDENS

the garden fell and everyone it fell

just disappeared

: so so so

the cup with leaves and coast so dear it fell

the child in come running and a garden fifty yards of and the buildings fell

my earnings love and every living little thing

he rose and off and off

: and and and

please my Grandpa I saw the ghost of you -you had your hat on.

"They are insane" you sadly say,

me: «if I write when I am scared"

: and and and

I will lose them as I did when I was young»

the garden fell and everyone it fell

just disappeared

the child in come running and a garden fifty yards of and the buildings fell

my earnings love and every living little thing

he rose and off and off

: so so so

Grandpa please will you get back and see them turn this living tide of men in fight*

THS

* Why explain so much?  Misunderstandings is a fear of mine. And what to do when you write things you yourslef dont see the true value of? Maybe thats sth to write more about- later.

In frightening times or turmoil you get afraid of losing everything.

RELATIONAL- this is on sth I work on: When men lose their loving attitude (with a reference to literature)...

So, in my rush to get this webpage better, I sort of got to erase the most important theme now, for me, but this passage sounded sth like this:

I have been thinking of a passage in a book, on when men brutalize each others relationship with their women or woman. This was on how miners was talking when they hung out in pubs after work(this under the  changing era of the industrial revolution.)

For myself, I have hoped that a man would have a choice and voice the friendship and love for a woman in his life. Of course life is short, and it is perhaps when we hinders each others love in life we dont have around us what we need most: friendliness. And of course women too do wrong. Its not square, if you know what I mean.

So I thought For A Future: In times of great change, we have to work on friendship. in every aspect of life /Men om Garden skulle si noe så er det hva vi må ta vare på vi mennesker på jorda nå, som er vennskap. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Also On My Pamfleth :

Things That Happen

Frases, 03.03.2021

"Enjoy Your Style"

(I get flau(embarrased) when people think I write about them or their friend, so..:)

walking my town,

empathy lost in some absent song,

guess you know,

who I am supposed to be writing of,

its sad, to this day,

that you find it amusing that I even cared,

cared to share my words when I was

younger,

younger and stranger,

but I noe laonger am,

and I no longer do,

I no longer do,

nothing then, is my answer to them.

-Browning